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Piranha 3DD
Genres: ComedyThrillerHor
Starring: David Koechner, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, Gary Busey, Danielle Panabaker, Clu Gulager, Katrina Bowden
Director(s): John Gulager
Available Quality: DivX, Hi Def
Country: USA
Year:2012
IMDB Rating: 4.6

Having awoken from their spring break extravaganza at Lake Victoria, the swarm heads upstream where they look to make a meal out of Big Wet, a local water park where when it comes to fun, nobody does it wetter! Though they came to get wet, get loaded and get some, the staff and patrons get more than they bargained for when they must face the fiercest, most bloodthirsty piranhas yet. Lead by the strong-willed, studious Maddy and her friends, Barry and Kyle, the trio must dive in and take on these man-eating creatures using every ounce of their being but can they be stopped?

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Visitor Reviews: (20)

Jackson Booth-Millard 20 May 2013

Piranha 3DD


The first film is viciously grisly, darkly funny and in moments sexy,when I found out there was going to be a sequel I was naturallyexcited, and the pun title gave a clue as to what would feature, 3Deffects and bigger (double D) breasts. Basically it has been one yearsince the events at Lake Victoria, which has become a deserted andrestricted area, dried up and deserted due to no tourism after theinfestation of prehistoric piranha fish. But this threat is to returnwhen in a nearby lake farmer Clayton (Gary Busey) and his friend are inthe water to recover a dead cow, and below them are many more of thefish eggs that hatch, and they attack and kill the two men. Not faraway, the Big Wet water park is making preparations to open to thepublic for the summer, and marine biology student Maddy (DaniellePanabaker), who co-owns the park, doesn't approve of her step-fatherChet (David Koechner) adding an adult-themed section and hiringstrippers. She also reacquaints herself with old friends, likepoliceman ex-boyfriend Kyle (Chris Zylka), friend Barry (Matt Bush) whohas had a secret crush on her for ages, and close friends Ashley Fallon(Meagan Tandy) and Shelby (Katrina Bowden). One night Shelby and herboyfriend Josh (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) go skinny dipping in the lake, and ababy piranha swims up into her vagina, and at the same time Ashley andher boyfriend Travis (Paul James Jordan) are having sex in their vanwhen the handbrake is tripped and they go into the lake to be devouredby the fish. The next day Maddy consoles Shelby on the jetty, and it isthere that piranhas attack them, but they get out of it and manage tohave one of the fish swim on the shore to kill it. The two of them andBarry go to see Mr. Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) to examine the fish,and he gives them the explanation that the fish are moving via sewagepipes and underground in the unseen lakes below, they conclude that thedrains the fish may use go from the lake and lead into the new waterpark. While something is to be done, Shelby and Josh have sex, and thepiranha in her vagina comes out to bite his penis, so he chops it offwith a knife, and they both go to hospital. Maddy finds out that Kyleis not all that good as well, he has been accepting bribes that allowChet to drain water for the water park from the lake, with the vastamount coming from the underground lakes. Big Wet opens to the public,with Baywatch star David Hasselhoff appearing as a celebrity lifeguard,and also arriving is Lake Victoria survivor Deputy Fallon (VingRhames), who lost his legs, and former cameraman Andrew 'Drew'Cunningham (Paul Scheer) who pushes his wheelchair. Maddy tries to shutthe park down, but Chet and Kyle stop her doing anything as they do notbelieve there will be any piranhas, but of course soon enough the fishcome along and attack all the guests and lifeguards. Fallon has ashotgun attached to his legs and shoot many of the blood thirstymonsters, and Hasslehoff feels happy that he rescued a little boy - hisfirst rescue in real life, and in the chaos, Chet makes a run with themoney he made, before having his head sliced off by a cable. Barrystarts to drain the pool to stop the fish getting in and the waterflowing to dry the place out, but in the pool Maddy gets pulled down bysuction, Kyle refuses to save her, so Barry, who can't swim, leaps inand saves her. Another employee at the same pours gasoline into thepipe system, and with a lit cigarette put in as well an explosioncauses most of the piranhas to be blown up, and Kyle is impaled by afalling trident. As Massy and Barry kiss and feel relieved it is over,Mr. Goodman calls them and informs them that the fish are evolving, ashis in the tank has grown legs and run away, and soon enough onepiranha crawls out the water to attack the boy Hasselhoff rescued.Panabaker is rather dull, Lloyd is still relatively amusing, andHasselhoff badly spoofs himself, and director John Gulager badly pacesthe action when it is supposed to be exciting, there are so manyproblems with this follow up to a hit movie. The story needed a lot ofwork, the acting is daft, the gore was less grisly and did not appearoften enough, the penis munching and cutting sequence is justdisgusting, the special effects are wasted, and no big boobs bouncingand flashing can save it, it is a terrible horror comedy sequel. Poor!

lovecraft231 20 May 2013

Feels like it was written by 8th graders


I really enjoyed 2010's remake of "Piranha." It was a rare type thatmanaged to not only work as a stand alone movie, but deliveredeverything that it promised: boobs, gore, and comedy. It was also welldirected, acted, and had a level of wit within the proceedings.Well,the studio decided that it was a movie that warranted a sequel, anddecided to hand over the reigns to the guys that brought you "Feast."Well, with it's small (about 75 theaters) theatrical release andOn-Demand run, it's easy to see why it's not getting a whole lot as faras promotion is concerned: it's a really s#!tty movie.Taking place one year after the events of the first movie, the movieopens with a cameo from Gary Busey and Clu Gulagar becoming food forPiranhas that come out of a dead but still flatulent cow. Yes, that isthe level of humor we are dealing with. Brace yourself, because it getsworse.The next day, Maddy (Daniel Panabaker) is in a bit of a disagreementwith her stepfather Chet (David Koechner) because he's turned thefamily water park (called "The Big Wet") into a more adult orientedplace with strippers as lifeguards. However, the piranha's are back,and headed to the pool via the pipe system. Her friends Barry (MattBush) and Kyle (Chris Zykla) must now try to do something to stop theupcoming onslaught-and you can guess how that goes. Meanwhile, Shelby(Katrina Bowden) is ready to lose her virginity, but a baby piranhagoes up her...um, lady parts. Also, Ving Rhames, Paul Sheer andChristpher Lloyd return, and David Hasselhoff shows up as himself.The best word I can think of describing "Piranha 3DD" (ha ha) would be"lazy." The direction by John Gulagar ranges from pedestrian to justplain bad, with murky underwater shots, poor editing and no clue how todirect moments of violence or any of the actors. Here, you have peoplewho have proved themselves to be good to decent actors delivering awfulperformances, with some (in particular Rhames) seeming to beembarrassed to be there. In their defense, they are working with ascript that feels like it was written by 8th graders. This is a moviewhere people do things that are dumb even by the standards of horrormovies, and characters change motivations (Kyle goes from being analright guy to a total asshole just completely out of the blue) withoutany attention to consistency.So, does the humor work? Well, as you can tell from the thirdparagraph, no. There's one moment that's funny, but most of the movieplays out like something you'd get from a really bad comedy (stuff like"Fired Up!") with gore and female nudity. This is movie that thinks apiranha going up a fat man's ass is great comedy. How about the gore?It's pretty tame compared to the last movie, with the inevitable waterpark massacre feeling anemic in comparison to the all out slaughterfest of the last movie. Sure, there's decapitations and blood in thewater, but it's nothing you haven't seen a billion times before.Now I know, I know. "It's supposed to be dumb!" you might be saying.Hell, I enjoy dumb entertainment as much as the next guy. This however,is the bad kind of dumb entertainment. The kind that makes no effortwhatsoever, and expects you to go along with it because hey man, titsand ass and gore! I'm sorry, but it takes more than that to make a goodtrashy movie. This is the kind of thing that gives trash a bad name.Being dumb is no excuse for being lazy.It's really no surprise as to why this didn't get a wide theatricalrelease and has gotten next to no promotion-it f#@%ing sucks.Everything about this feels like a really bad direct-to-video sequel,and that the studio had no idea what to do with it. This is a moviethat's best left avoided. Just watch the previous one, or the original.

Chaz_233 14 May 2013

A major disappointment


Turns out there are piranha eggs elsewhere in some other lake as well,aside form the one in part I.This time around some sleazy entrepreneuris opening a water park with an adult section- for topless andsometimes naked folks.His stepdaughter isn't thrilled with any of this. She's got a deputySheriff-her ex-after her, as well as some nerdy guy. When she's out bythe lake with her virgin friend, they are attacked by rabid piranhasthat also have learned to jump out of the water and destroy solidobjects. They, and some other kids, look for the researcher from part Iwho tells them that the piranhas are learning and developing someskills- not to mention that they are tough critters that can breakthrough steel.The girl tries to warn the stepfather about the danger of piranhassince the water park drains into the lake. But he won't have any of it.And sure enough, the day of the opening of the park, piranhas make itto the pools and eat everything in sight.One would think that there is quite a bit of story in this movie butthe way it's handled all of this takes place in 40 minutes or so. Andwhile I'm making it sound like there's some arc to the story, the wayit's filmed is like a series of gags, many of them quite disgusting. At82 minutes or so this movie is incomprehensibly short, and 15 minutesof those are end credits that have a gag reel mixed in. DaniellePanabaker tries to perform and so do a few other folks. She and KatrinaBowden are very attractive but this director can't direct much at all.He can handle teens being sweet and flirtatious, but put these teens inan emergency or horror situation and the director has no clue what todo. There's some nudity as there well should be but not nearly enough.At the beginning the boss promises a "coochie cam" but nothing is madeof it. When the piranhas attack the water park, suddenly there is noadult section any more.One can't understand why this movie was so botched. Unless there was alot more gore, violence, and nudity filmed and someone decided not toinclude it in the final cut. Otherwise why even bother filming a 65minute movie? However, not a minute more is on the DVD so clearly, thismovie was doomed from the get go.My first conclusion after seeing this movie was that the director ofthis mess, John Gularger, couldn't possibly have directed the brilliantFeast I. I'm not surprised that I'm not the only one to think that.While Piranha 3DD has some resemblance to Feast II, III, none of thoseshare anything with Feast I. Over time any normal director aims toimprove and work on something bigger and better. If indeed Feast I wasdirected by Gulager he's one of the few directors who's getting worseand worse with every movie he directs. Aja's Piranha I wasn't amasterpiece but it was entertaining and well done. This movie is adisaster. And Gulager is the only one to blame here. There is a story,there is a decent cast, a crew that has the technical know-how, butGulager managed to ruin it all. This guy is becoming the OlivierMegaton of horror movies- everything he touches turns to hell. Perhapshe should stick to acting (?). Or try directing gross teen sexcomedies. Just keep this guy from ruining more horror movies. Piranhadeserves better and I look forward to part III redeeming thisfranchise.

ObscureCinema101 13 May 2013

A Huge Letdown


I always thought Alexandre Aja's 2010 remake of Joe Dante's classicPIRANHA was a bit overrated. However, I was still excited for thesequel. I mean, it had David Hasselhoff, Gary Busey, Clu Gulager,Christopher Lloyd, and Ving Rhames in the cast and was set at a waterpark, so how could they possibly screw this up? Enter PIRANHA 3DD.The prehistoric, carnivorous piranha from the first film have swam outof Lake Victoria and find themselves in a lake just outside of The BigWet, a sleazy water park. The lecherous owner decides to use water fromthat lake for his water park to save money, and unwittingly unleashesthe piranha on the patrons at the park. Can his step-daughter, her loveinterest, and even the Hoff himself put a stop to the ensuing carnage?PIRANHA 3DD should have been great. It should have been the best movieof the summer. But it wasn't. It was one of the biggest letdowns I haveever come across. But it wasn't ALL bad. The inclusion of the Hoff andBusey was entertaining in itself, even if Busey isn't really givenanything to do. I mean, if you get Gary Busey to be in your film, whynot make him, well, crazy, seeing as that's what he's known for? DavidHasselhoff was easily the best part of the entire thing because of howhilarious he was. There's even a montage of him running in slow motionto save a ginger kid from the piranhas! Actually, all the events leading up to the big massacre at the waterpark were really unnecessary. You could have just shown the beginningand the end water park scene, and the whole thing would still makeperfect sense.Probably the worst thing about it is how hard it's trying to replicatethe original. Much like MEN IN BLACK II, it tries to be like theoriginal by over-exploiting the good things about the first. The firstwas taken somewhat serious with an underlying humor, but here, there'sabsolutely no seriousness. There are a lot of dumb jokes that just donot work, and a lot of situations that are just trying way too hard tobe funny instead of just being naturally humorous like the first.Even though the water park massacre was the best part of the movie, itwas still a letdown! Remember how the first PIRANHA 3D actually hadsome funny and interesting death scenes? Not here. It's just piranhasnibbling on swimmers. That's it. Oh, and a piranha gets stuck between aguy's crack. That's the kind of humor we're dealing with in this movie.They could have done so much with the water park setting, and theywaste it all.PIRANHA 3DD had some fun moments, but as a whole was pretty stale. Ittries WAY too hard to replicate the original and be funny, and loseshalf the entertainment value along the way. This one might get betterwith future viewings, but right now, it's pretty moldy.I was never that big of a fan of the original, but now, I see that itcould have been a whole lot worse

ersinkdotcom 12 May 2013

"Piranha 3DD" Blu-ray offers up gory and crude B-movie mayhem


Just when you thought it was safe to go to your local water park,"Piranha 3DD" is released on not-so-innocent viewers. The follow-up to2010's critically acclaimed box-office success "Piranha" did littlebusiness in theaters. Hopefully it will gain a little more attentionfrom home audiences.A school of mutated piranhas enter a water park through its pipingsystems. The step-daughter of its crooked co-owner must find a way toclose off the man-eating creatures' access to the amusement facility.The employees of the park attempt to rescue the thrill-seeking swimmersbefore they're devoured by the aquatic monsters.Roger Corman's name may not be found in the credits of this sequel, buthis spirit is felt throughout it. It's the usual over-the-top creaturefeature we've all become accustomed to seeing from the B-movie king.Imagine "Jaws" if it took place in a water park the kids in "Porky's"worked at during the summer. That's the level of entertainment you getfrom watching "Piranha 3DD."The CGI and practical effects are a grade above what one would expectfrom a movie of this nature. There are parts where the piranhas lookless than spectacular, but it doesn't distract from the overall funatmosphere of the film. Most of the special make-up effects are verywell-done. The different severed body parts all look impressivelyrealistic."Piranha 3DD" delivers B-movie schlock in its finest form. I don't knowhow it could get any better (or worse?) than this. It's crude, gory,funny, and successfully self-aware. A great high-definition transferand a few interesting special features make this a recommended buy forfans of Roger Corman creature features and the likes. http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/849014/eric_shirey.html

willthemoses 12 May 2013

OK, not an Oscar winner lets face it, still entertaining though!


The first piranha movie from 2010 was a really great summer movie andwas a lot of fun! This one is not as a good as the first one. Sequelsnever are, but i found this movie entertaining and exciting never theless. The Piranhas make there way into a newly opened water park whichobviously already is ridiculous... yet still i did truly enjoy thismovie. It was packed with action and laughs. David hasslehoff being inthe movie just annoyed me thats the only thing i hate. Just don't takethis movie to seriously and don't expect an amazing Oscar winningperformance from all the actors involved. Accept it for what it isfun,crazy,gory and action packed!

Dramakingdt 11 May 2013

Thought it'd be more fun..


Now I was very excited to see this movie as I thought the first one wasan extremely guilty pleasure with the hilarious antics, extreme nudityand sickening gore. I thought 'Water park' 'plumbing systems' a riot isgoing down with this one! Sadly I was let down, the nudity is the samebut to be honest the waste of deaths was stupid. They could've done somuch more! Don't get me wrong, the bedroom scene/piranha in ass bitswere the best but the bedroom scene was in the trailer! In the first wehad; the speedboat death, the wire death, kelly brooks death, theopening death etc All NOT in the trailer.It seemed that all the good bits (other than the nudity of course) werein the trailer, you knew all the great bits before you saw it.I guess I had way too many expectations for this movie but it is alaugh, nothing on the first one though at all.Positives were the 2 major deaths (bedroom/asshole), the ending,Katrina's one liner and when the owner runs over a girl. Hilarious.Fan of the first? Go and see it but if not? Wouldn't waste your time.P.S The 3D is mediocre, bit cheaply done. Plus the Piranhas look alittle different.

shalimar-4 10 May 2013

beyond priceless.. so long as you have a funny bone!


Biggest disappointment was that Danielle Panabaker didn't get naked forus.Otherwise.. how can you not laugh at this parody making fun of so manyother films etc.. including itself!!! Particularly the Hoff making funof himself.. (as fully admitted to on Stern not in the recent past).It's so damn stupid and yet it's priceless at the same time and thensome.Honestly.. if you go into this film expecting "greatness" you are amoron.. but if you go in expecting stupid gag, bad jokes and hot babesnaked it scores in spades.A sense of humor is most certainly required."Little ginger moron..."

FlashCallahan 09 May 2013

Busey looks like Mason Verger......


Having awoken from Lake Victoria, the fish head upstream where theylook to make a meal out of Big Wet, a local water park.Though they came to get wet, and get loaded, the staff and patrons getmore than they bargained for when they must face the fiercest, mostbloodthirsty piranhas yet.Lead by the strong-willed, studious Maddy and her friends, Barry andKyle, the trio must dive in and take on these man-eating creatures.But can they be stopped?....Could have been a lot of fun, like the first movie, but every elementof entertainment has been taken out of this lifeless, devoid ofanything dud.and even though he has become self parody over the last ten years, it'ssad to say Hasselhoff is the best thing about this movie.Whenever he is on screen, the film becomes watchable, but only for thefact of how ridiculous the whole thing is. If only they broke thefourth wall a few times and winked at the camera, they could have hadsomething.But it has nothing. Busey, Lloyd, and Rhames look under the influenceof some sort of substance, an the rest of the cast are truly awful.The first movie was trash, but it knew it. This is nothing...

baz_boy85 08 May 2013

Still a whole lotta fun!


OK so I've been looking forward to Piranha 3DD for ages now...I wasbummed when I heard it may be going straight to DVD but alas here I am,happy as Larry that I just watched it at the cinema :)Firstly let me start by saying that the movie has a great pace. Eventhough its not a long film, everything moves fast giving plenty ofaction along the way.Danielle Panabaker is great in the lead role, David Hasslehoff has funwith his cameo and Christopher Llyod laps up his brief screen time.There's a decent amount of blood and gore but definitely nowhere nearas much as the first. Also the scale of the film feels so much smallerthen the previous entry you start to think that they released the filmsin the wrong order!!But having said that, the film is such fun, just like the first andthere is never a dull moment thrown in with some great laughs :)

Paul Haakonsen 06 May 2013

Surely this was meant as a joke?


Oh dear, this was bad! The 2010 remake of the old "Piranha" movie wasbad, but this sequel to that 2010 remake, are you kidding me? Where tobegin?Well let's start with piranha trashing a wooden pier to get to thepeople on top of it? So fish are able to selectively single out preyand take down the barriers they are on? Or what about piranha jumpingout of the water and onto the shore in order to get to their prey?Piranha starting to walk on land? Piranha jumping up and in one bitedecapitate a grown man, then later on do the same to a boy? Or apiranha swimming up inside a woman through her private parts and livinginside her womb?Or what about the total rip off scenes from the 2010 version? A piranhabiting off a man's private parts? Or having a formerly well-known actor(Garey Busey) have a cameo role in the beginning of the movie only todie within minutes? Can you say 'this also happened in part one?' Or asheriff (Ving Rhames) having lost both his legs in the first movie andnow back with two steel legs, one of which is also a shotgun. Or howabout David Hasselhoff playing himself and making an ass of hisprevious roles and personality? This movie was so lame, words don'teven begin to describe it.So why watch it? Well, simply because it is such a cheesy spoof onitself and the 2010 version. It was hard to take this movie serious atall. The storyline is downright insulting to your intelligence, butstill it is worth watching because it is so predictable, so cheesy andso stupid. And it is worth to watch because of the blood and gore, andbecause you will be laughing at the absurdity of the entire movie.The entire movie seems like to be directed by a horny teenager for anaudience of horny teenagers. There is an excessive amount of nudity,sexual situations and women in little or no clothing at all. So youshould take that into consideration before watching the movie, if youare easily offended by such material or situations. And why did adecapitated head have to land right between a woman's enormous breasts?That was so stupid on so many levels.Having seen the 2010 remake and not overly impressed with it, then itwas with some hesitation that I sat down to watch this 2012 sequel.Why? Well because I had the movie at hand and had the time to spare.Having seen it now, I can say that they managed to make the piranhastory worse than it already was.It was hard to find the bright moments in this movie. But I suppose ifyou are a teenage boy, this might be right up your alley. Senselessentertainment with blood and a lack of coherent storyline.

George Papas 06 May 2013

Unfortunately, Piranha 3DD hit the rock bottom...


Well, first of all I have to say that this movie was real joke and abad one. Why? You don't see anything here about the characters. Theyare all blank and actors wasted. It is dull movie, where actresses wererunning and screaming naked and, of course were talking about sex anddoing the porn. The story is too much predictable. They actually triedto add too many boobs and gore in the movie, following the pattern ofthe first Piranha. In this one, you don't have tension. First sceneabout two men searching cow is ridiculous. Story was so rushed, thatthey thought it would excite us, audience. THey even added DavidHasselhoff for comic tune. I was bored with his performance. It wasn'tfunny at all. Piranha 3D has more tension, action, darkness andpiranha. In this one, everything is just a cheap parody. Yes, itdoesn't take itself too seriously, but it isn't reason to make excuseswhy is this that bad and pretty much short.4/10

capone666 04 May 2013

The Vidiot Reviews...


Piranha 3DDThe best way to control the piranha population is to turn the speciesinto a Chinese delicacy.And since this horror/comedy takes place at a water park all there isto do now is bring this piranha fin soup to a simmer.One-year after a school of flesh eating prehistoric piranha's feastedon boatloads of beach goers their offspring attempt to eradicate thebare-skinned bathers of a water-slide strip club.When rumors of the rabid fish resurface Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), thereluctant co-owner of the water park, tries to convince her step-dad(David Koechner) not to pipe in water from an underground source.But with opening day looming, Maddy and her doting employee (Matt Bush)must prevent the imminent bloodbath.The unnecessary sequel to Piranha 3D, 3DD doesn't deliver the laughs orthe attacks the way the original did. Besides, X-rated water parks should be using hand-sanitizer instead ofwater. (Red Light)vidiotreviews.blogspot.ca

bs7162 03 May 2013

I Just Loved It


OK lets get this straight we know that it's not as good as piranha 3dbut that does not mean mean it's bad. I loved this movie because it wasfunny (most of it), the CGI was crappy But I still think that makes nodifference because I like low budget movies, the acting was greatEspecially Danielle Panabaker and David Hasslehof, and the story wasridiculously funny I don't know people are making a fuss over it. Thismovie had such a lot of jumps as well as thrills. my favourite scenewas when the van rolled down into the water and the couple weremassacred by baby piranha. verdict: Piranha 3dd is still a whole lot offun and still delivers the goods, the movie was a bit tame but made upfor that with the amazing acting. so sit back and enjoy the awesomemovie. 10/10

outcastded 03 May 2013

Not really disappointing.


It was not really disappointing. Because I did see the last one. I knewthat it wouldn't be serious. But still, I reward it with to lowestscore possible!The good: -Hot ladies. -I almost laughed two times.The bad: -The story. -The dialog. -Jokes being not funny, so I justalmost laugh two times. -The STUPID STUPID STUPID reasoning of the maincharacters. The same kind of reasoning that, in other movies, makespeople go alone in to the dark scary woods where they do KNOW thatdeath and dangers lurks. -Overall completely devoid of all kind ofsense and logic. Many times I have seen bad movies with friends. More often then not,I'd be the one saying, after the movie is finished, that it wasn't THATbad, that it's actually okay, being that it didn't aim for the academyawards anyways. But THIS is without doubt the worst movie I've seen. Ever. Still, Iwouldn't say I was disappointed, I knew it would be bad, and I wasmostly annoyed. Annoyed in a way that made me want to run at superspeed, jump to the rooftop of the tallest building in the vicinity andcry out in booming voice loud enough to make the surrounding ground andpeople around tremble as I uttered the words: "Oh MY FU**ING GOD!!"But of course that's not possible, no more than it's possible that Iwill ever see this movie again.

trashgang 02 May 2013

you ginger little moron


Okay, so many negative words about this Piranha entry. Still notavailable in a lot of countries did mean also a thing. Bad distributionso a bad film. I have seen it in 3D HD and I must say that I am I guessthe only one who enjoyed it. But there are a few reasons why I likedit. First of all this flick doesn't take itself seriously and that's agood start. Secondly the name John Gulager, the director, did ring abell, famous for his directing of the Feast trilogy. And have a look atFeast you know that that is full of bad jokes and black comedy, letthat be exactly what we do have here.For example the way 'The Hoff' is presented. A lot of people hated hisacting here but just have a close look, he's laughing with his ownacting and his past, the kid don't remember any title The Hoff issaying he played in, back to earth with that, and then as he's runninglike in baywatch. How funny was that and he said it himself when hestops running. Further this flick is some kind of remake of Piranha 3D (2010). Ofcourse people will compare the two with the use of nudity but face it,the penis being bitten off in the 2010 version was laughable too. Herewe do have the same but in stead of naked girls swimming in the waterwe do see a lot of 3D D-cups in close up running around, covered inbikini or topless. And the nudity is as gratuitous as it can be, girlscoming out of the water naked full frontal, ladyshaved. Naturally thepenis scene had to be done again but again in Feast-style and if youjust can't take it or find it ridiculous then you can't dig blackcomedy. Look how the virgin asks to be f*cked and how she reacts. It'sfull of subtile jokes. Sure, the story is written in one sentence, Piranha attack a swimmingpool. But I laughed it out a few times and of course searched for theold actors to be seen, Gary Busey, Clu Gulager, Christopher Lloyd...On part of the 3D it do have a few amazing scene's. The key for examplein the water really did pop up almost just before my face, just if Icould grap it. Some piranhas also are jumping out of your screen. I can understand that geeks hate it, there isn't that much of horror init or even gore. It's all about naked girls and blood, be honest, thisis the only reason why you watch this. Guess if you show this at aparty that it will succeed in delivering a few laughs and cheers whilethe girls will walk out of the room and saying, so childish...andthat's exactly what it is. Gore 1,5/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 3/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 2/5

Paul Andrews 01 May 2013

Only for those with an acquired taste, I thought it was great though.


Piranha 3DD is set a year after the horrible events at lake Victoriawhere a once believed extinct species of Piranha ate lots of people,money grabbing businessman Chet (David Koechner) runs the Big Wetwater-park with his stepdaughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) who bothhave differing opinions on how the park should be run. Meanwhile in anunderground lake nearby yet more ferocious Piranha hatch & make theirway in the local water system killing & eating anyone that wanders intothe water. With the grand summer opening of Big Wet the park is goingto be packed full of people looking to have a good time but the killerPiranha manage to feast on them after being sucked into the parkthrough water pipes. The Piranha seem unstoppable as they tear theirvictims apart...Directed by John Gulager, the son of veteran actor Clu Gulager who hasa small role in this, I am sure the average person on the street willprobably hate Piranha 3DD with it's stupidity, moronic character's,over the top gore, in jokes, film references & downright silliness butI have to say I really liked it & I am 100% serious when I make thatstatement. Every one of the 80 odd minutes that Pirahna 3DD lasts foris either gory, funny or downright stupid & there's never a dull momentif nothing else. It takes a special kind of person to appreciate a filmlike Piranha 3DD, I am that kind of person as I found the constant injokes & references absolutely hilarious, seriously I just found this sofunny & during the moments that were supposed to be funny as well. Anyscene with David Hasselhoff is just brilliant, he makes fun of himself& his public image seemingly in good humour from a hotel room encounterwith two gorgeous twenty something girls to his droll reaction to thecarnage at the water-park as he states the obvious when he says 'oncethese moron's get out of the water the fish are hardly likely to followthem home' to a really funny send up of the Baywatch opening creditsjust after the closing credits here as a curious little bonus. In factthe film itself lasts for a mere 70 minutes yet the end credits lastfor 12 minutes with lots of outtakes including what looks like a coupleof deleted scenes (the female life guard being strangled on her ownwhistle cord) & messing around by the cast & crew. The whole film isjust so much fun to watch, from the first moments with the farting cowcorpse to the scene in which Josh runs around with a Piranha clamped tothe end of his penis before castrating himself to the young kid whogets his head bitten off at the very end. The more I think aboutPiranha 3DD the more I like it. There's plenty of gore although maybenot quite as much as the first & there's plenty of flesh on show withnude swimming pools & lots of horny teens wanting sex. Call me easilypleased but I laughed at the right places, I got just about all the injokes & film references & enjoyed the film as a whole too as it has areasonable if not exactly brilliant story, in fact the story isbasically the same as the original Piranha (2010) but set in awater-park rather than a big lake & it's considerably more funny.The special effects are alright, the CGI Piranha look okay but not muchelse & I can't believe they roar like Lions. Whose decision was thatexactly? It's the aspect of Piranha 3DD that I thought ended up reallylame. There's some gore here, there's plenty of blood & chewed upbodies, there's another severed penis as in the original & to go withall the blood there's lots of nudity on show. Blood & boobs, what moredo you want? There's nothing particularly scary here, there's not muchbuild-up of tension & you can guess what's going to happen but it'sstill great fun. There are lots of bad taste humour & tastelessnessgoing on, a guy with a flapping Piranha stuck up his bum & thepriceless line of dialogue where a woman says 'Josh cut of his penisbecause something came out of my vagina' which is surely one of thegreatest lines ever spoken in a motion picture. Enough said.No-involved in the making of Piranha 3DD is taking it seriously so Isuggest that anyone watching it doesn't either & just take it for whatit is.The IMDb says that Piranha 3DD had a budget of about $20,000,000 whichit total rubbish, try about half that. Since I am blind in one eye Icannot watch films in 3D so I have no idea how effective it is here.Filmed in Wilmington in North Carolina. The cameos from ChristopherLloyd & Ving Rhames reprising their roles from the original are alsopretty funny, especially Rhames & his gun legs which he borough bysaving money from 'not buying any socks'! Gary Busey also has a smallcameo at the start. The rest of the cast are OK, they were obviouslychosen for their looks rather than their acting skills.Piranha 3DD is a film that the majority of people will hate & despise,of that I have no doubt but for those of us who it was actually madefor will probably love it. Sure, it constantly tries to appeal to thelowest common denominator with it's nudity, gore, nastiness & outrightsilly send-ups & gags but there's no harm in that. Is there?

Jason Daniel Baker 30 April 2013

Nauseating Garbage


If you have seen any one of the Piranha movies going all the way backto 1978 then what is shown here is more of the same. By casting DavidHasselhoff as himself they showed they really weren't even trying withthis one.The only awards the female lead Danielle Panabaker might win for herperformance here is an Amber Tamblyn lookalike contest. Set in the water park equivalent of a strip club with profoundlyunlikeable and spectacularly dumb characters the essential hook here isto show naked people (Mostly women) and gore which is not somethingeveryone wants to see together or even separately.The gross-out factor gets to be pretty intense and for the second oneof these movies in a row male genital mutilation is served up foraudience approval and that isn't even the most disgusting thing shown. What we see readily earns this flick its R rating within 10 minutes.There is political incorrectness and then there is Girls Gone Wildout-takes intercut with cheap indie horror. The piranhas look likeclaymation when you see them up close. You'd expect more from aproduction with a estimated $20 million budget.Shot in Wilmington. North Cackalacky is rapidly becoming HollywoodSoutheast.

Lucas Baker 28 April 2013

CRAP to an EXTREME


Wow. Just wow. Let me note that I enjoyed the first Piranha, and wentinto this movie with an open mind (despite horrible reviews). What aabsolutely HORRIBLE sequel. The time around, the directors haveobviously run out of ideas. It was a sequel to a movie that didn't needa sequel. You can only get about 1 good movie from a concept as simpleas piranhas, and that's all but clear, seeing as this movie sucked.First of all, this movie is disgusting. You see a fat mans bloody ass,the tip of a severed penis, gore galore (and not the good kind...thebad overly bloody fake looking kind), and a piranha that swam up agirls v- a-g. At points you could tell the piranha's were puppets, andthe puns were cheesy one liners at best. The whole film made menauseous, and the deaths of several people were fake as fake can be. Aguy gets decapitated from a yellow flag ribbon...yah...that's right...aguy's head gets severed (though the neck bone and all), by a piece ofplastic that is soft, stretchy, only about 1 nano-meter thick, and noteven sharp. There is also a guy who gets skewered through the eye,because of an explosion that caused a trident to have impeccable aimfalling from the sky. Also, one of the main characters has enough aimto skewer a bag of chips and a piranha perfectly from a good 20 feetaway, which begs the question of how he is a lifeguard. The whole filmmakes no sense, with a girl who has a seizure while having sex (due toa piranha inside her)only to come back to life once a guy severs hispen!s, and the kick- butt black man from the first movie has a shot gunleg. And finally, the ending sucked to an extreme. The piranhas havenow begun to walk (or really hop), at the end, only to cut off theentire head of a really nice innocent kid, just for a cheesy one linerthat wasn't even funny. In short, this movie is complete an utter crap.Avoid watching (unless you like stupid, gross, and fake movies).

liamn1996 27 April 2013

Awfully Good - Just don't take it seriously!


Well, I went to watch this today and I couldn't stop laughing! Thebedroom scene is one of the best scenes ever. As with the first onethere is lots of nudity and lots of gore! Which I like. DaniellePanabaker is great as the lead and done well with this film. VingRhames was back and that was just delightful. David Hasselfhoff - well,what can you say about David? Just too awesome for words. KatrinaBowden gives us the best line in the film "Josh cut off his penisbecause something came out of my vagina" then of course Ving with his"Bring me my legs". The other cast members were hilarious! It was greatseeing some not so familiar faces. The effects (again) were not amazingbut enjoyable non the less. The deaths were inventive and funny (waitfor the last one)! And of course - Christopher Lloyd, amazingly crazyonce again. I gave the Piranha 3D 9/10, this one I give 8/10. It'sawesome but the first one is, well... AMAZING! Just don't take the filmso seriously, just enjoy it, have a laugh and smile! When this comes onDVD I will have my beer and pizza ready! Great lads film but i'm surethe ladies will love it too! Please go and watch it so we can get athird - God knows what it'll be called...

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